Christmas - An Alternative view.
You know it's that time of the year again when suddenly everyones spirits seem lifted. There's lights on houses and front gardens are decorated, some nicely, and some like random droppings of horse shit. There's two houses not far from me, like 2 minutes walk, but the opposite direction. If you turn left when you exit my house you'll see a neatly decorated house with even fairy lights. It's tasteful, despite my distaste for Christmas (see later paragraphs). However, if you take a right upon exiting my lair, walk for two minutes, you will come across something that looks like the North Pole has been raided by those aboard the Black Pearl. While Donna Hay goes for 'quick and simple' these people have gone for a 'lets get as much shit and throw it in our front yard so that passers by have a psychotic epileptic attack when they see the bright flashing lights.'
You may have noticed I hold quite a negative view of the whole 'season to be jolly'. The simple truth is, I do.
The over-commercialised nature of the whole thing just shits me, and of course the Church loves it because it makes most of Australia look like they're celebrating whatever Christmas celebrates. You can me ignorant, I'm guessing it's the birth of Christ whoever he was. I think I read about it in the Da Vinci Code.
So suddenly items in the shops are so much more expensive because its manipulating the honest shopper. Hey bitch, I'm buying this ham because I LIKE HAM, not because it's going to be put on the table in between the Fruit Mince Pies and the Bon Bons!
Now, my family is not religious. My mother is of the belief that you do not need to be to celebrate the magic of Santa. Is she on dope? Santa is a fictional character created by Coca-Cola or something. It only proves a child's naivety to believe in such a thing as a fat man in a red suit who visits ALL the children in the world on one night to give them presents.
Christmas this year has presented an even larger problem, as I have refused to visit my mothers side of the family for Christmas lunch. Mostly it's because I do not want to see them, I have nothing to talk to them about. They're the ones who sat back whispering and gossiping while I fought my internal battles of depression. Should I suddenly walk through the door with a fake smile on my face and greet them all for the first time in seven months? I think not.
The thought of attending a Christmas lunch does not interest me. People sharing presents, all laughing and being happy. I can be happy without the fake bluestone of love.
Christmas is something that I see as being forced upon us. Dependant upon our parents' religion of course. Most of us, however, are raised to believe in Santa, to enjoy the Christmas spirit, and nobody ever questions it. So I may be one of the only people to convert to a non-Christmas lifestyle. I may look at this holiday more strategically than emotionally, but if you seek the real truth in this world, you could learn something from questioning yourself.
____________________________________________________________________________________
Tim is the author of this blog who believes that a present is merely the period of time we are currently living.
Thursday, December 21, 2006
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
Spirit
This may be the last thing that I write for long.
Can you hear me smiling when I sing this song for you, and only you?
As I leave will you be someone to say good-bye?
As I leave will you be someone to wipe your eye?
My foot is out the door, and you can't stop me now...
You wanted the best, it wasn't me.
Will you give it back?
Now I'll take the lead, when there's no more room to make it grow.
I'll see you again, you'll pretend you're naive.
Is this what you want?
Is this what you need?
How you end up let me know...
As I go, remember all the simple things you know.
My mind is just a crutch and I still hope that you will miss me when I'm gone.
This is the last song
The hearts start breaking as the year is gone...
The dream's beginning and the time rolls on...
It seems so surreal, now I sing it...
Somehow I knew that it would be this way.
Somehow I knew that it would slowly fade.
Now I am gone, just try and stop me now...
You wanted the best, it wasn't me.
Will you give it back?
Now I'll take the lead, when there's no more room to make it grow.
I'll see you again. You'll pretend you're naive.
Is this what you want?
Is this what you need?
How you end up let me know.
As I go, remember all the simple things you know.
My mind is just a crutch and I still hope, that you will miss me when I'm gone.
This is the last song.
And will you need me now...
You'll find a way somehow...
You want it too...
I want it too...
Can you hear me smiling when I sing this song for you, and only you?
As I leave will you be someone to say good-bye?
As I leave will you be someone to wipe your eye?
My foot is out the door, and you can't stop me now...
You wanted the best, it wasn't me.
Will you give it back?
Now I'll take the lead, when there's no more room to make it grow.
I'll see you again, you'll pretend you're naive.
Is this what you want?
Is this what you need?
How you end up let me know...
As I go, remember all the simple things you know.
My mind is just a crutch and I still hope that you will miss me when I'm gone.
This is the last song
The hearts start breaking as the year is gone...
The dream's beginning and the time rolls on...
It seems so surreal, now I sing it...
Somehow I knew that it would be this way.
Somehow I knew that it would slowly fade.
Now I am gone, just try and stop me now...
You wanted the best, it wasn't me.
Will you give it back?
Now I'll take the lead, when there's no more room to make it grow.
I'll see you again. You'll pretend you're naive.
Is this what you want?
Is this what you need?
How you end up let me know.
As I go, remember all the simple things you know.
My mind is just a crutch and I still hope, that you will miss me when I'm gone.
This is the last song.
And will you need me now...
You'll find a way somehow...
You want it too...
I want it too...
Saturday, November 25, 2006
Mea Culpa
I guess I have nobody to blame but myself. I had a realisation today maybe I'm not the absolutely fantastic member of society I thought I was. That's clearly a joke as I believe society has failed me and many others in my position.
While I can blame society for being homophobic and anti-non-conformists as well as hating young people and applying impossible restrictions and measures and counter measures to control the teenage/young people sub-culture (the list could go on), everything that has happened could ultimately be laid down as coming from me.
Do I accept blame? Does anybody ever accept the blame. We all use excuses. It's something we are pretty much taught to do. I can't accept that everything is really my fault, as society has created me. Despite no one having an influence on me, everybody has had an influence on me. the layers I've built, the people I've manipulated, those I have grown to love and slipped away from.
I guess there's a reason people shy away from me. I have an attitude, it's there to protect me and it is becoming more prominent. Don't get me wrong. It's a good thing and I'm glad that I'm standing up for myself more and saying what I want to. Like today, the Family First Party tried to shove a "How to vote for the Family First Party" pamphlet into my hands. I walked straight past them and told them "haha not a chance." It made me smile. Then, walking through the city this well dressed guy...I cant call him a punk because punks are cool, he was a hip-hopper, asked me and my mate if we had any loose change. Thing is he didn't just ask, he walked in front of my friend (backwards) and it was quite a threatening way to ask for money. So I said "HEY, we don't have any money alright" so he called me a fucking cunt and whatever else. LOL.
My other problem is I think I can get attached to some things too easily. I'm slowly learning to back off it a bit but it's hard when you find something (or someone) you really want and then don't know how to pursue it. Like, I was meant to meet someone last night. Their phone died and we never ended up meeting, so we both felt as if we'd been stood up. Now I don't know how to pursue it. Should I care if someone can't message me back as quickly as I'd like?
Actually this blog is completely off track from how society has made me but it could possibly be all my fault. Society as a whole is starting to become more accepting but there is a long way to go. I could be proud and stand up and fight for what I am. But society has suppressed me and I've come to almost like that. I dress in black, I get called an emo, I find it so hard to be honest with most people and to open up. I could be happy and open but that's what society wants. And there isn't a chance they're getting that from me.
I'm gonna fight, but in my own way. Everyday I become more sure of myself. I may not be who you want me to be. I may not do what you want me to do. But I'm Tim, and those closest to me know that I'll fight for them all the way.
-Tim
~Tim is a free-range blogger who believes that ultimately there is no I in 'mea culpa'.
While I can blame society for being homophobic and anti-non-conformists as well as hating young people and applying impossible restrictions and measures and counter measures to control the teenage/young people sub-culture (the list could go on), everything that has happened could ultimately be laid down as coming from me.
Do I accept blame? Does anybody ever accept the blame. We all use excuses. It's something we are pretty much taught to do. I can't accept that everything is really my fault, as society has created me. Despite no one having an influence on me, everybody has had an influence on me. the layers I've built, the people I've manipulated, those I have grown to love and slipped away from.
I guess there's a reason people shy away from me. I have an attitude, it's there to protect me and it is becoming more prominent. Don't get me wrong. It's a good thing and I'm glad that I'm standing up for myself more and saying what I want to. Like today, the Family First Party tried to shove a "How to vote for the Family First Party" pamphlet into my hands. I walked straight past them and told them "haha not a chance." It made me smile. Then, walking through the city this well dressed guy...I cant call him a punk because punks are cool, he was a hip-hopper, asked me and my mate if we had any loose change. Thing is he didn't just ask, he walked in front of my friend (backwards) and it was quite a threatening way to ask for money. So I said "HEY, we don't have any money alright" so he called me a fucking cunt and whatever else. LOL.
My other problem is I think I can get attached to some things too easily. I'm slowly learning to back off it a bit but it's hard when you find something (or someone) you really want and then don't know how to pursue it. Like, I was meant to meet someone last night. Their phone died and we never ended up meeting, so we both felt as if we'd been stood up. Now I don't know how to pursue it. Should I care if someone can't message me back as quickly as I'd like?
Actually this blog is completely off track from how society has made me but it could possibly be all my fault. Society as a whole is starting to become more accepting but there is a long way to go. I could be proud and stand up and fight for what I am. But society has suppressed me and I've come to almost like that. I dress in black, I get called an emo, I find it so hard to be honest with most people and to open up. I could be happy and open but that's what society wants. And there isn't a chance they're getting that from me.
I'm gonna fight, but in my own way. Everyday I become more sure of myself. I may not be who you want me to be. I may not do what you want me to do. But I'm Tim, and those closest to me know that I'll fight for them all the way.
-Tim
~Tim is a free-range blogger who believes that ultimately there is no I in 'mea culpa'.
Thursday, November 16, 2006
Time Will Tell
When contemplative reflections show us for what we have become, one individual worries about the adverse effect on our economy...not really.
Some people constantly do it. Some for good. To improve their lives, to reflect upon their past, their decisions and determine a course of action for improving their health and well being, as well as their overall satisfaction in life.
Some people don't do it for good. They don't sit down and ponder and brainstorm ways to increase their happiness. For some people its something they can't control. A product of the equation of unhappiness, sometimes emotionally increased by feelings of failure and non accomplishment.
I've been wondering lately. Thinking about the way I am, the way I have become. The things that have made me what I am. How I've dealt with situations. The way in which I've changed. What I've done to myself in order to cope with the changing situation at hand.
I seriously believe I analyse things too much. Now I'm analysing the spell checker because its telling me that 'analyse' is spelt wrong. But back to the purpose of this blog. I think too much. Even about my own actions, behaviours, thoughts, feelings, reactions. While me revealing the inner depths of my mind would produce a fascinating read I don't think I'm ready to open up to everyone, let alone anyone.
Only time will tell where this is all going to end. Whether emotions will be boxed and thoughts concealed. Created and shaped by the perceptions of others and their ability to transcribe a particular reaction in you.
Everything that has a beginning, has an end. Every person has a function. But in an era where time has become our greatest enemy, ends can be drawn too soon and functions disillusioned by constraint after constraint.
This sounds like such a depressing blog. It was not my intention. More a look at the cynical side of what modern life has created in us.
Cheers.
Some people constantly do it. Some for good. To improve their lives, to reflect upon their past, their decisions and determine a course of action for improving their health and well being, as well as their overall satisfaction in life.
Some people don't do it for good. They don't sit down and ponder and brainstorm ways to increase their happiness. For some people its something they can't control. A product of the equation of unhappiness, sometimes emotionally increased by feelings of failure and non accomplishment.
I've been wondering lately. Thinking about the way I am, the way I have become. The things that have made me what I am. How I've dealt with situations. The way in which I've changed. What I've done to myself in order to cope with the changing situation at hand.
I seriously believe I analyse things too much. Now I'm analysing the spell checker because its telling me that 'analyse' is spelt wrong. But back to the purpose of this blog. I think too much. Even about my own actions, behaviours, thoughts, feelings, reactions. While me revealing the inner depths of my mind would produce a fascinating read I don't think I'm ready to open up to everyone, let alone anyone.
Only time will tell where this is all going to end. Whether emotions will be boxed and thoughts concealed. Created and shaped by the perceptions of others and their ability to transcribe a particular reaction in you.
Everything that has a beginning, has an end. Every person has a function. But in an era where time has become our greatest enemy, ends can be drawn too soon and functions disillusioned by constraint after constraint.
This sounds like such a depressing blog. It was not my intention. More a look at the cynical side of what modern life has created in us.
Cheers.
Friday, November 10, 2006
Colour-blind
So, another blog. A lot has been happening lately and I find that I'm going to need to do what I once had to...compartmentalise my emotions in order to maintain the strategic balance I have my peers.
Makes me wonder about emotions. So many people are easily controlled by them. For example, those hot headed people. Like Russell Crowe. Then there's people who are always calm and calculated. I used to be like that before I started letting people into my life. Now I'm a balance between the two. I need people. But I also need to maintain a cap on my feelings.
Recently I felt something I haven't felt for a while. Lust, or a serious crush. The circumstances are totally barbaric and I won't elaborate on them in a public forum. But how can I start to feel something for someone I haven't met? Having them creep into my thoughts when I'm bored and lonely. This is why I need to control it, because as experience shows, nothing good will ever come out of it.
With that, you start to think about the other party involved. What are they thinking? And feeling? If at all? Am I just amusement, a game maybe? This is the substantial problem in developing a crush, and I'm going to refer to it as a crush for ease of referencing, on someone that you have not met. Am I an idiot or just like an ever increasing group of Y-gen's (or as MC Lars calls us, the iGeneration - i prefer his term).
The other problem with feelings is that you really can't control them. If we could, then I wouldn't have developed these feelings prematurely. Unfortunately, feelings can also lose you friends and this past week I've been faced with the retribution from one of my best mates because I see-saw between ridiculously happy and depressingly sad. It really hurts to think that this person is gone and I've taken measures to ensure I'm going to come out of this a better person. That person will most likely never read this blog, and may never care about the impact they had on my life, although the circumstances surrounding such an enlightenment are not so worthy of an autobiography or blockbuster movie.
At the end of this I'm me, and maybe I can't control things. Maybe I need to stand up and fight for what I need to. I've stayed in the darkened corner of my room listening to emo music and crying too many times to have ever been able to take away anything positive.
I miss those friends, and I desire that which I probably will not get. But maybe in the end the realisation of self fulfilment and the error of my ways will put the colour back into my eyes.
-Tim.
Makes me wonder about emotions. So many people are easily controlled by them. For example, those hot headed people. Like Russell Crowe. Then there's people who are always calm and calculated. I used to be like that before I started letting people into my life. Now I'm a balance between the two. I need people. But I also need to maintain a cap on my feelings.
Recently I felt something I haven't felt for a while. Lust, or a serious crush. The circumstances are totally barbaric and I won't elaborate on them in a public forum. But how can I start to feel something for someone I haven't met? Having them creep into my thoughts when I'm bored and lonely. This is why I need to control it, because as experience shows, nothing good will ever come out of it.
With that, you start to think about the other party involved. What are they thinking? And feeling? If at all? Am I just amusement, a game maybe? This is the substantial problem in developing a crush, and I'm going to refer to it as a crush for ease of referencing, on someone that you have not met. Am I an idiot or just like an ever increasing group of Y-gen's (or as MC Lars calls us, the iGeneration - i prefer his term).
The other problem with feelings is that you really can't control them. If we could, then I wouldn't have developed these feelings prematurely. Unfortunately, feelings can also lose you friends and this past week I've been faced with the retribution from one of my best mates because I see-saw between ridiculously happy and depressingly sad. It really hurts to think that this person is gone and I've taken measures to ensure I'm going to come out of this a better person. That person will most likely never read this blog, and may never care about the impact they had on my life, although the circumstances surrounding such an enlightenment are not so worthy of an autobiography or blockbuster movie.
At the end of this I'm me, and maybe I can't control things. Maybe I need to stand up and fight for what I need to. I've stayed in the darkened corner of my room listening to emo music and crying too many times to have ever been able to take away anything positive.
I miss those friends, and I desire that which I probably will not get. But maybe in the end the realisation of self fulfilment and the error of my ways will put the colour back into my eyes.
-Tim.
Friday, November 03, 2006
Reckoning
Hi,
That's another useless quote that has nothing to do with what I'm going to write about.
Well what's new? I've been sick. Still am. I hadn;t sneezed naturally in like 6 months and suddenly I was faced with a barrage of seven in a row for a whole night. It was like whoa what's going on! Of course, I still went to work. We are busy, I need money. Me and busy is good. Keeps my mind off other things!
Truth is, recent developments and events have put things into perspective. People have told me stuff. They're moving on wth their life. Operations to make sure they'll be able to have kids, friends getting into long term relationships, becoming managers of businesses and earning money, and becoing comfortable with themselves. Here I am. I'm alone and the number of close friends I have seems to be shrinking. For the most part of High School I tried to either fit in or shirnk into the background. Wanting to not be seen. I'm forced to do that yet again, because apparently I "sound gay" according to some 12 year old. So do I believe a 12 year old? Or believe the friends who deny it? Why do I even care? The answer is because I'm afraid of the truth. Because I am gay, and because after all this time I still can't handle it. I have friends who have already taken boys home and here I am still afraid to talk about it with people who know.
I think I know what's going to happen. I can already feel it. Emotions are being compartmentalised and hidden from the world. I'm becoming cold and heartless. Hatrid fills my veins with that which I cannot control. A burning anger that showed itself back in July/August. Lying dormant in the unconscious part of my brain.
So...since I kinda was just honest with the whole...no one who reads this, I've come to appreciate this blog as an area for me to get rid of things. And at someone in my last Uni class said this year, "Graffiti is the way, its the only way to get our message out there."
-Sark
"You belong to me, my snow white queen"
That's another useless quote that has nothing to do with what I'm going to write about.
Well what's new? I've been sick. Still am. I hadn;t sneezed naturally in like 6 months and suddenly I was faced with a barrage of seven in a row for a whole night. It was like whoa what's going on! Of course, I still went to work. We are busy, I need money. Me and busy is good. Keeps my mind off other things!
Truth is, recent developments and events have put things into perspective. People have told me stuff. They're moving on wth their life. Operations to make sure they'll be able to have kids, friends getting into long term relationships, becoming managers of businesses and earning money, and becoing comfortable with themselves. Here I am. I'm alone and the number of close friends I have seems to be shrinking. For the most part of High School I tried to either fit in or shirnk into the background. Wanting to not be seen. I'm forced to do that yet again, because apparently I "sound gay" according to some 12 year old. So do I believe a 12 year old? Or believe the friends who deny it? Why do I even care? The answer is because I'm afraid of the truth. Because I am gay, and because after all this time I still can't handle it. I have friends who have already taken boys home and here I am still afraid to talk about it with people who know.
I think I know what's going to happen. I can already feel it. Emotions are being compartmentalised and hidden from the world. I'm becoming cold and heartless. Hatrid fills my veins with that which I cannot control. A burning anger that showed itself back in July/August. Lying dormant in the unconscious part of my brain.
So...since I kinda was just honest with the whole...no one who reads this, I've come to appreciate this blog as an area for me to get rid of things. And at someone in my last Uni class said this year, "Graffiti is the way, its the only way to get our message out there."
-Sark
Sunday, October 29, 2006
Doppleganger
Hi.
Well what a week.
I'm so tired. Not having time to bludge, and just relax. Although always having something to do is keeping me in a great routine. Up early every morning for work or uni. Except now UNI CLASSES ARE OVER. Wooo.
I actually just finished redrafting an essay after the teacher said I didn't do enough of my own research. Umm whatever. So I don't really care about that. Its done thats all I care about it.
Bought a great new tshirt yesterday too. Its go good ol' Uncle Sam pointing the finger and saying FUCK YOU. I love it. Dad doesn't, but isn't that the point?
My aptly named blog today is referring to the 2 me's. The other side of me has been suppressed of late. I'm calling him Luke, the dormant side of my personality driven by desire and rage and anger. I could feel it coming through the other day while I had every little fucking Footscray creature cutting me off and walking slowly and stopping. lol. I tried to induce it but I couldn't which just weakens the argument that I'm just an idiot. I believe it's real, even if no one else does.
Also, I thought I came down with Campylobacter Food Poisoning the other night. Chicken should have been fine but it was actually RAW in one bit. It was one of those Chicken Kiev's you buy frozen and put in the oven. Yes, after 45 minutes it was still raw. I'm not trusting anything like that again. So for the next 24 hours I was worried I might start vomiting or getting a fever or coming down with paralysis. Yes thats a symptom I found it on the Net ;)
2 Months to go until my trip. I'm so pumped. One month to go until I find out WHERE and WHAT I'm doing for the first two weeks. Some volunteer work. I kinda hope we're gonna be in Mexico, or anywhere where winter aint that bad. lol.
Well I better go, maybe I should start my next essay. Or just relax for once. I have a day off tomorrow, maybe that will be essay day.
-Tim.
Homework status:
1 essay
2 exams.
Well what a week.
I'm so tired. Not having time to bludge, and just relax. Although always having something to do is keeping me in a great routine. Up early every morning for work or uni. Except now UNI CLASSES ARE OVER. Wooo.
I actually just finished redrafting an essay after the teacher said I didn't do enough of my own research. Umm whatever. So I don't really care about that. Its done thats all I care about it.
Bought a great new tshirt yesterday too. Its go good ol' Uncle Sam pointing the finger and saying FUCK YOU. I love it. Dad doesn't, but isn't that the point?
My aptly named blog today is referring to the 2 me's. The other side of me has been suppressed of late. I'm calling him Luke, the dormant side of my personality driven by desire and rage and anger. I could feel it coming through the other day while I had every little fucking Footscray creature cutting me off and walking slowly and stopping. lol. I tried to induce it but I couldn't which just weakens the argument that I'm just an idiot. I believe it's real, even if no one else does.
Also, I thought I came down with Campylobacter Food Poisoning the other night. Chicken should have been fine but it was actually RAW in one bit. It was one of those Chicken Kiev's you buy frozen and put in the oven. Yes, after 45 minutes it was still raw. I'm not trusting anything like that again. So for the next 24 hours I was worried I might start vomiting or getting a fever or coming down with paralysis. Yes thats a symptom I found it on the Net ;)
2 Months to go until my trip. I'm so pumped. One month to go until I find out WHERE and WHAT I'm doing for the first two weeks. Some volunteer work. I kinda hope we're gonna be in Mexico, or anywhere where winter aint that bad. lol.
Well I better go, maybe I should start my next essay. Or just relax for once. I have a day off tomorrow, maybe that will be essay day.
-Tim.
Homework status:
1 essay
2 exams.
Monday, October 16, 2006
A Broken Heart
"Everybody here is living life in fear of fallin' out of line"
Today was such a nice day and I spent it at Uni. The last Monday I shall go to Uni. Rolf has cancelled Tourism Law for next week and Devaki wants to have cake instead of doing Sociology. Day off then for me. I'll get my Sociology essay done hopefully.
Speaking of essays I'm so over them. I have an Employment Law one due in a week and a half, would like to finish it a week early though. So hard when all the time you can commit is a couple of hours each night after working for a full day. I'm gonna start doing some after dinner though.
I watched an episode of Lost when I got home from Uni today. Since I missed it on TV. I must say, it's quite riveting. Luckily I'm disciplined enough to not let it get in the way of other important things.
I went out for dinner last night and had Duck. I don't know why. Brittany had duck at a nice restaurant and said it was beautiful. This was not a nice restaurant and I felt sick. I've now come to the conclusion that ducks are for feeding at the park and not for human consumption.
Realising how much I miss my friends lately too. I'm so busy, it's impossible to catch up with everyone I want to. But I'm definitely going to do a decreased work load at Uni next year. Originally I was thinking part time, and take a another 2 years to finish. But maybe I'll do 2 subjects in first semester, then 3 in the next 2 semesters and finish in a year and a half. Surely 3 subjects will still be a lot less to worry about than 4. I just wanna earn money though.
But yea, I need so badly to catch up with so many friends. Chris is having drinks for his birthday though this weekend so I'm sure people will come to that. It will mean that I'll have to break my vow to not go out until after exams. So I'll work hard this week and earn the right to go out.
Uni work count:
2 x 2,500 word essays
2 exams.
Party time:
Friday November 17, 5:01pm
Departure:
Wednesday January 3, 12:30pm
Thursday, October 12, 2006
Parity
Today was also known as "The Day the Diet Ended"
Yes that's right. I was on a diet. "But why Tim, you're already so hot?" I hear you say/think! Well actually I cut my soft drink and chocolate consumption was almost 100%. I had the odd glass of soft drink but I actually went quite a while without chocolate. But tonight at Uni I was hungry and I had the choice of a BOOST Chocolate Bar or some deep fried chips which might have been there for an hour. I went with the Boost. I also had a Pepsi Max to wake me up because there were boring presentations in my last class. But the diet will continue. Maybe I'll call it a lapse..
This week has also been quite tiring. Started my new position which meant lots of work learning everything. It's been good. I think I'm doing ok. But I'm up early every day and doing uni and work and soon exams will be upon me. Totally sucks. But that's life isn't it? Might even go out on the weekend to relax and have fun.
I have also paid the balance on my trip to America. Very exciting, although I will miss this nice weather I think.
I actually have so much homework to do and I can't be bothered tonight. I'm not in a productive mood. I'll do it tomorrow night (yes I'm staying home on a Friday). I can't wait for the day when the semester is over and I can learn to be bored again. Some day now.......I feel like Tacos. haha (Some people will get that).
That's all from me tonight. Wish me luck with homework.
Yes that's right. I was on a diet. "But why Tim, you're already so hot?" I hear you say/think! Well actually I cut my soft drink and chocolate consumption was almost 100%. I had the odd glass of soft drink but I actually went quite a while without chocolate. But tonight at Uni I was hungry and I had the choice of a BOOST Chocolate Bar or some deep fried chips which might have been there for an hour. I went with the Boost. I also had a Pepsi Max to wake me up because there were boring presentations in my last class. But the diet will continue. Maybe I'll call it a lapse..
This week has also been quite tiring. Started my new position which meant lots of work learning everything. It's been good. I think I'm doing ok. But I'm up early every day and doing uni and work and soon exams will be upon me. Totally sucks. But that's life isn't it? Might even go out on the weekend to relax and have fun.
I have also paid the balance on my trip to America. Very exciting, although I will miss this nice weather I think.
I actually have so much homework to do and I can't be bothered tonight. I'm not in a productive mood. I'll do it tomorrow night (yes I'm staying home on a Friday). I can't wait for the day when the semester is over and I can learn to be bored again. Some day now.......I feel like Tacos. haha (Some people will get that).
That's all from me tonight. Wish me luck with homework.
Monday, October 09, 2006
So It Begins
Today was one of the worst days of Uni I've had for a while.
Tourism Law finished 105 minutes early. I think Rolf (lecturer/tutor) was cut or something.
That left me with about 4 hours of time to kill before Sociology. Boring. Maybe that's why I feel so flat today.
I was falling to sleep on the train home (not good) and didn't wake up properly at home. So anyway, fast forward to 30 mins ago...
I went to Safeway to buy some Vitamin E as I'm sure commercialism and the use of marketing has gotten to my head and makes me believe I need 2 per day to be alert. I also bought some of those microwaveable soup packs for work. I'm over sandwiches and I'm too tight to buy lunch every day at Southbank!
So I drove past Maccas on the way home as I have to do, and I saw Chris in a black shirt. WTF! So I went in. They all seemed happy to see me it was so funny. Poor kids. Chris is a manager (why Chris why??), and I got Holly's number again. Woot! But was kinda cool to see some old friendly faces. It really was, that wasn't sarcastic.
Start my new position tomorrow. Yes I have been promoted and taken out of the subscriptions department and am now in Customer Service. Training is basically anytime I'm not at Uni which leaves less time to do homework. I have a weekly timetable set up now. Is that normal for a 20 year old? But don't get me wrong, I'm happy, I'm excited. I get bored easily. Some of you know this.
I also received my final invoice for my trip. I'm so pumped for it I can't wait. January 3 really isn't that far away when you think about first overcoming the semester, then exams, then it's easy until Christmas when BAM! I'll be ready to go.
Well I best be off to do some homework. Tonight it's some Employment Law tutorial questions and an article for Sociology. So tired but must push on.
Tourism Law finished 105 minutes early. I think Rolf (lecturer/tutor) was cut or something.
That left me with about 4 hours of time to kill before Sociology. Boring. Maybe that's why I feel so flat today.
I was falling to sleep on the train home (not good) and didn't wake up properly at home. So anyway, fast forward to 30 mins ago...
I went to Safeway to buy some Vitamin E as I'm sure commercialism and the use of marketing has gotten to my head and makes me believe I need 2 per day to be alert. I also bought some of those microwaveable soup packs for work. I'm over sandwiches and I'm too tight to buy lunch every day at Southbank!
So I drove past Maccas on the way home as I have to do, and I saw Chris in a black shirt. WTF! So I went in. They all seemed happy to see me it was so funny. Poor kids. Chris is a manager (why Chris why??), and I got Holly's number again. Woot! But was kinda cool to see some old friendly faces. It really was, that wasn't sarcastic.
Start my new position tomorrow. Yes I have been promoted and taken out of the subscriptions department and am now in Customer Service. Training is basically anytime I'm not at Uni which leaves less time to do homework. I have a weekly timetable set up now. Is that normal for a 20 year old? But don't get me wrong, I'm happy, I'm excited. I get bored easily. Some of you know this.
I also received my final invoice for my trip. I'm so pumped for it I can't wait. January 3 really isn't that far away when you think about first overcoming the semester, then exams, then it's easy until Christmas when BAM! I'll be ready to go.
Well I best be off to do some homework. Tonight it's some Employment Law tutorial questions and an article for Sociology. So tired but must push on.
Sunday, October 08, 2006
Truth Be Told
I pledge allegience to myself, for I shall never give in and allow myself to be boxed or caged.
I pledge allegience to my friends, who I would take a bullet for.
I pledge that this blog is honest, a new twist on my blog of old, and
I pledge that I will always be standing in the way of those who seek to chain us.
Welcome.
I used to be a major blogger. Some of you already know this. An MSN Spaces blog filled with rage and hate, a black background to accompany the black thoughts I churned out.
Things have changed.
I'm not saying this is going to be peachy. I have however left behind my "I need to complain about everything" blog and forged a new identity in the blogging world.
Wake up the Revolution is in dedication of a song that reminds me that for every person who stands up for something, there are others who are too afraid. I was very much like that. I hated that, and I need to do what I believe in now.
So here I am, a new Tim so to speak, apparently free. But we are not free, and so we must break the bonds of constraint that we have been tied down with for so long.
I hope to update this regularly. Uni will slow me down but since procrastinating is one of my well-learned skills I probably won't be held down by such a responsibility.
And if I could have one wish fulfilled, it would be that every person can pledge allegience to themselves.
I pledge allegience to my friends, who I would take a bullet for.
I pledge that this blog is honest, a new twist on my blog of old, and
I pledge that I will always be standing in the way of those who seek to chain us.
Welcome.
I used to be a major blogger. Some of you already know this. An MSN Spaces blog filled with rage and hate, a black background to accompany the black thoughts I churned out.
Things have changed.
I'm not saying this is going to be peachy. I have however left behind my "I need to complain about everything" blog and forged a new identity in the blogging world.
Wake up the Revolution is in dedication of a song that reminds me that for every person who stands up for something, there are others who are too afraid. I was very much like that. I hated that, and I need to do what I believe in now.
So here I am, a new Tim so to speak, apparently free. But we are not free, and so we must break the bonds of constraint that we have been tied down with for so long.
I hope to update this regularly. Uni will slow me down but since procrastinating is one of my well-learned skills I probably won't be held down by such a responsibility.
And if I could have one wish fulfilled, it would be that every person can pledge allegience to themselves.
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